It’s all so Tiring

In light of the debacle happening within Ligonier Ministries and beyond, I wanted to take some time to talk about my hiatus from Substack, and honestly, reformed social media in general.

In 2020, during my personal “awakening” to reformed confessional theology began to take shape, and I began to attend a 1689 confessing church, which blessed me greatly. I loved engaging in spirited (though not always productive or friendly) debate and discussions on reformed theology Facebook groups. I met my wife through a group called “Reformed Conservative Singles.”

I was finally able to compartmentalize doctrine, and what I believed, and by God’s grace, be more rooted in my theology.

Fast forward 6 years, I’ve been through 4 moves, 3 jobs, 2 beautiful children, and a promising career path that could potentially set my family up for years to come. With all that came life experience, struggles, and a lot of wrestling with God.

A lot of time has passed since my family and I have been rooted in a church, and pastored well. And I’ve seen the impact that’s had on my spiritual life and my family’s. As a layman, 90% of my mental focus has been poured into my career, and ensuring good provision for my family through high performance at work. My ability to lead my family spiritually has suffered because of these factors, and I’ve desperately been wanting to return to the things that make my heart and soul whole.

With moves, comes uprooting.

With uprooting, comes starting over.

I see the hell it‘s put my family through, and I pray that we come out of this season of spiritual apathy soon.

During all of this, I’ve watched as the reformed church has eaten itself alive worse than politically correct leftists who eat their own through mild “microaggressions” and contradictory world views.

The “microaggressions” in the reformed world‘s case being minor theological differences, or even as far as geopolitical views that have created complete “mark and avoid” schisms between brothers who otherwise agree on 99.9% of doctrine and belief.

And it’s all so tiring…

It’s like saying,

“Hey brother! Do you like pizza?”

“I love pizza!”

“Me too. Let’s go get some pizza!”

“I’m gonna get pepperoni.”

“I love pepperoni too! Think I’ll get some too.”

(Then one brother shakes red pepper flakes on his pizza.)

The other brother in utter shock, “How dare you??!! I can’t associate with you anymore, and I’m going to tell all my other pepperoni pizza loving friends how much of a monster you are!”

Sigh…

It’s been this attitude within my own denomination and broader reformed denominations that’s caused me to personally retreat from engaging in theology… in other words (and a far worse way of putting it) it’s caused me to retreat from engaging in growing in my knowledge of God as a whole.

I love the Lord…

I want to know Jesus more…

But reformed gatekeepers have put a bad taste in my mouth… so bad, that there was a week or so where I even looked into Reformed Anglicanism as an escape.

But through and through I’m Baptist. I’m historic particular Baptist. I whole heartedly believe the 1689 is the greatest summarization of Biblical Christian Doctrine the world has ever seen.

I’m a Reformed Baptist and will always be a Reformed Baptist. But there’s a time and place to return to the basics, and now’s that time for me.

I need a break from toxic theology groups. I want to steer clear of the scandals, rumors, and schisms, and just focus on Christ. I want to grow in my spiritual leadership of my family, and make my home sphere whole again, by the Grace of God alone.

Dear Reader,

Pray for me and my family and our spiritual growth. I’ll also pray that none of us fall into the circus that the celebrity, and greater Reformed world has become.

Don’t hide your head in theology books as ostriches in the sand. Don’t gatekeep Christianity as your own personal echo chamber. And don’t idolize worldly politics using Christ as a cope for your motives.

Christ alone, and everything else will fall into place as God wills it.